It has become blatantly obvious that I have an unresolved issue. This issue involves someone else. The problem is that both she and I have said our goodbyes and made our peace. You might say, how is that a problem? Well the problem is that I am not at peace. Much as I try, I can’t seem to let it go. I’ve deleted pictures of her, thrown away items that she gave me, and done just about everything I can think of to get her out of my mind. I even go to counselling. Well, I see a counselor for several reasons, but that is definitely on this list. I’m in community twice a week with other men, with whom many have become good friends. I feel like I’m doing everything I can to be healthy emotionally, spiritually, and sobriety wise. I still need to work on the physical side of it.
However, it seems that it doesn’t matter what I’m doing. Why do I still think of her? I mean, we don’t even communicate with each other. Selfishly, I’ve tried reaching out, but she has been strong and not answered me back. She always was the stronger one. Turns out she was right about so many things. I’m finding that out more and more as time goes by. I have found one thing that seems to work well whenever I begin to think of her. I started to figure that if I was going to think of her that I was going to pray for her.
I decided I wasn’t going to pray for things like her and I talking again or being friends again. In fact, I’ll write out the prayer that I pray for her whenever I start to think of her. I’ll leave her name out of it on here though. Father, I pray for her right now. I pray that every day that she looks in the mirror that she sees herself as fearfully and wonderfully made. May she see herself as beautiful and desirable. May she know how loved she is by You. Grant her favor Lord. Give her favor with her friends, co-workers, family, the families she takes care of, and even people she hasn’t met yet. May you bless her in every area of her life. Bless her financially Father. May she walk every day in your anointing and calling on her life. When she steps into a room, may she change the atmosphere so that people experience your love and grace. Let your love and grace flow through her and in her more than it ever has before. Fulfill the desires of her heart Lord, but also give her fresh vision and dreams for the future. In your time Lord and in your plan, may you bless her with a wonderful man of God. May he be everything that she needs and may you bless their relationship with one another.
May their marriage be unbreakable. I pray that they would be able to do more for the kingdom as a team than they could by themselves. May their gifts and calling compliment each other. I pray that you would bless her womb Father. I pray and believe that she will have her very own children from her own womb and that she would find great joy in them. I pray that you would bless her and her husband has parents and that your blessing would rest on their children as well. May she continue to be able to travel and see places that she’s never been. May you bless her home. Protect her as she travels Lord and grant her Your peace. May she have the knowledge in her heart that you not only hear her prayers and see the desires of her heart, but that you are a God who actively answers those prayers and fulfills those desires. May she rest in your finished work on the cross. Use her to reach people that otherwise might never be reached for the kingdom. May they see Your love and grace in her and upon her and may she overflow with it. Father I pray that she would be in perfect health and that by Your stripes she has been healed and made whole. I thank you Father for an amazing woman of God and for the opportunity to know her. She made such an impact in my life and I will forever be grateful.
May you answer all these prayers in Jesus mighty name! Amen!