Inside Out

Some friends and I got together last night and watched the kids movie “Inside Out.” I found it to be a very interesting look into the inner workings of the mind. No, I’m not saying that we have little people inside our brains that are controlling our emotions. I am saying that just as the movie shows, certain emotions are important at different times. The most intriguing part of the film had to do with memories and how they were stored or perhaps even lost.

This reminds me of the movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” The plot basically involves two people who want to remove their memories of each other due to a relationship gone bad. Sometimes I’ve thought that if a place existed that could erase certain memories from my mind, like it does in the movie, that I would be interested in having it done. In reality, I found myself deciding that those memories that I would want to erase make me who I am. There have been major improvements in my life due to a relationship disintegrating. That sounds bad doesn’t it? But it’s true.

I’ve learned a lot about how to treat someone and how to love someone. My superficial Christian self was exposed and it really needed it. I was trying to please people that really didn’t matter, while hurting the person I claimed to love. I cared much more about how I felt and what was important to me than I did about her or other people. That’s just not love. All the while, she just kept showing me grace. She was so gracious to me the whole time. She continued to love me the whole time even though I was hurting her. Eventually though, she needed to make a decision that I could never blame her for making. She needed to get out of a toxic relationship. Having it all crumble in front of my face has caused me to really take inventory of my life. I was able to look at myself and see that I was and am a very flawed individual. God’s grace is what sustains me because I’m far from perfect.

That’s the thing. I was trying to be perfect and it’s just not possible. She was always the more spiritual of the two of us. I just never saw it until it was too late. Isn’t that how it works in life sometimes? Maybe that’s how it was supposed to go. I’m not saying that I was meant to treat her poorly, but that through the ending of our relationship and friendship with each other, God was teaching me something. He needed to get my attention because it was obvious that He didn’t have it at the time. So while one part of my life ended, another part was activated. Healing and remodeling began. It’s still a work in progress for sure, but a demolition needed to occur in order to start a fresh rebuilding process.

Are their memories that still can make me sad? Absolutely. But they can also serve as a reminder that I am not that person anymore and that God is continuing the work He started in me. He says He is faithful to continue it toward completion until the day He returns. Thanks for reading. Till next time.


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