I did something today that I told myself I would never do. I signed up for an online dating website. Honestly, just having a profile on there is a huge step for me. I can’t say that I’m that optimistic about meeting someone through it. I answered a bunch of the questions to see who it matches me up with and all that jazz. Who knows? Maybe some kind of relationship or friendship can come out of it, but I still don’t think that online dating is my thing. Maybe I’ll change my tune after a certain amount of time, but I just don’t like the mechanics of it. It’s the same reason why I don’t really care for Facebook or many other social media platforms.
I enjoy this blog because I can remain somewhat anonymous. The idea of getting close to someone just seems like a terribly high mountain to climb. I’m also very concerned of letting myself love someone again. Yes, I know that it’s really way to early to be talking of such things, but isn’t that the whole purpose? I’m tired of well meaning people telling me I need to meet new people or people telling me that I’ll find someone who loves me for me. I’ve heard all these cliches before. Yes, I’m being cynical again. I just know myself and I know that opening up to someone of the opposite sex is like trying to get into Fort Knox.
I’m a highly guarded individual who doesn’t like to be known. I’ve done a good job so far of being very protective of my emotions and feelings and I don’t see that changing in the very near future. Tonight, I’m going over to some people’s house for dinner. I really don’t want to go because it will be them and another married couple and I don’t really have a whole lot that I want to talk to these people about. I’m grateful that they have invited me over for dinner, but it also serves as a reminder of where I’m at in my life…..as if I needed any more reminders.
I plan on coming home as early as I can from there and playing Arkham Knight or watching another episode of “Stranger Things.” Letting out my frustrations on some criminals in Gotham City sounds like a good plan to me. Till next time.